Hey there,
I'm Mel.
RN, BSN, Sex Counselor & Wild Thing
In a Nutshell
I'm a mess. I have a black and white pin on my backpack that says so. Most folks laugh when they see it. Some probably judge me and assume I'm falling apart at the seams. I'm not. Well, not today anyway. Regardless, the phrase makes me think of Walt Whitman's quote:
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"I am large, I contain multitudes."
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It gives me permission to feel however I feel that day, without self- judgement. Sometimes this works! Sometimes I'm still really hard on myself. Like you, dear reader, I am far from perfect despite having spent an unreasonable amount of time trying to be.
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In sum, I believe in showing up when it really matters. I believe in structuring one's life around pretty much anything but money. I believe in staring into the eyes of the person you love until it's uncomfortable, and then a little longer. I believe in living beyond your comfort zone, whether that be in another country or in your car.
And - maybe most importantly - I believe in myself, and I believe in you.
My Roots
I grew up as an only child in a family that struggled to communicate effectively. We did not share our emotions, much less process them out in the open. And when it came to sex, I certainly never got "the talk." I rarely felt that my parents were available to or interested in answering my questions. It was just too uncomfortable for everyone involved.
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As a teen and young adult, I found myself unprepared for the realities of dating and sexual health. But I was really curious. I mean, thank goodness for the internet, because so many of my questions would come to be answered online.
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My desire to learn about sex has persisted well into adulthood. It has blossomed from my own desire to know myself better and to build the relationships I see in my dreams; not the ones that were modeled in childhood or in the media.
Getting Present
In time, I became known among friends as someone who you could talk to about anything. My Nursing background always welcomed a host of questions: What's this skin thing on my arm? Does this look broken to you? But with my newfound hobbies and lifestyles (and my complete openness about them) I found myself instead answering questions like: Why am I so uncomfortable in my body during sex? and "Can you guide me in trying an open relationship?
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So, after 12+ years as a nurse, I felt a new path falling into place. I began my coursework in Sexuality Counseling in earnest, confident that my background in healthcare would be an asset I could expand on.
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My hope today is twofold: To bring more robust sexual education into modern healthcare and to support folks on their journey for better sex and happier relationships.
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Want to get in on that magic?
Book a free intro session with me STAT!
Growth Mindset
I was fortunate to find a career I loved right out of college. I became a Registered Nurse and immediately began working in a Trauma ICU. I relished in the relationship side of nursing; knowing my patients inside and out, and being able to tend to their physical, mental and emotional needs. I was - and still am - a natural caregiver.
Then at 28, an unexpected breakup sent me reeling into the world of self-help and therapy. I read every relationship book I could find; I went to seminars on growth and connection. I listened to sex & relationship podcasts; I went on multiple yoga and Vipassana retreats; and I challenged myself to start thinking differently about monogamy, jealousy, and sex. In the years following, I explored polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, kink and queer relationships, and joined sex-positive groups in my city. I met people who lived more freely than I ever thought possible. My interest was piqued! And my thirst for knowledge grew.
